January Slump

My old friend,

          is a new teacher.

We haven't actually talked in a good 25 years, but I see her occasional posts online.

I've enjoyed following her excitement of mid-life graduation, nerve churning interviews, and the giddy anticipation of a new job, a new year, a classroom all her own.

It's been a couple of years now, maybe a little more.  My own life has spiraled along in its own round of classes and names and challenges, and it's hard to remember exactly how long ago she started.

Long enough, anyway, to move beyond the newbie confidence at the end of a long week of:
"I'll figure it out and get it right next time,"

to the winter slump of:
"Am I really cut out for this?"

It's January.

Nobody's cut out for this.

It's the time when we sit around at lunch counting the years to retirement.
When we struggle to remember those first long ago classes that we're sure never acted like this.
When we gaze in despair at lackluster papers and wonder if we've taught a thing all year.

It's cold,

it's dark,

it's endlessly gloomy.

The occasional tease of a lovely day, makes it almost worse when it all crashes back again.

So, are you cut out for this?

Yes, of course you are.

The question alone is the cry of how much you care.

The sun will come back,

The days will warm,

The children will shock you with a sudden insight, that proves they were listening all along.

You'll know that this is your life,

when you can't believe you get paid to do this in September...

and nobody could pay you enough to do it in January...
                               
but you do it anyway

Because these are your kids.